I am so terrible, but those were my thoughts as I logged into my "Dating Page" and was bombarded with IMs. I am so vain it kills me, but I just don't see myself dating Mr. Starwars. I'm also contemplating if not being attracted to someone because of race is considered racist, but I think I've already blogged about that.
Regardless, I am talking to two Asians and a dweeb--the three of them message me every single time I log on. They always ask me how I am and what I look for in a man. Great. Am I overthinking this? Why does it matter what I look for? I just feel when someone asks you that, it is just because they are trying to be something they are not. Smokescreens and mirrors to be shattered years into a marriage after 5 kids and a dog named Pete. I actually used this analogy on one of the guys, and he argued with me:
-------------------
(loser 1): that not true
(me) haha well i am cynical and i beg to differ
(loser 1) well in ur profile states u want get married and have 3 kids
(me) I was just being sarcastic
(loser 1) so what ideal date?
-------------------
What a compelling argument!! You can see why he'd be a winner.
Anyway, I told Loesr 1 I didn't want to give him my name because I worked in the schools and didn't want my info to get out. So, he proceeds to ask me how long I've been a single teacher. Realizing I had just over-shared and created some sicko-fantasy in this guy's mind, I informed him that I was, in fact, a janitor. I was going to tell him my ideal date was to go to an extravagant restaurant with fine dining and a cello player, to see if he'd deliver (not that I'd ever meet him). Not the way the conversation turned. He started guessing local districts where I might work. Again, the brain screams," BLOCK HIM! BLOCK HIM NOW!!"
Moving on to asian guy.
-------------------
(asian guy) how's your luck been here
(me) don't know yet, i've been sort of reluctant to give it a full shot; i take it you haven't had much ?
(asian guy) huh? what do you mean
(me) i take it you havent had much luck on the site?
(asian guy) oh yeah. I think it's easier for girls here?
(self) ha, right (and I think--oh yeah, I remember this guy now. the pity party, poor me, poor men)
(asian guy) what are you looking for here btw ((I HATE THIS FRICKING QUESTION))
(me- continuing the argument) i found out guys actually get free memberships to some dating services because there are so many girls and not enough guys. can you believe that?
(asian guy) oh I think you getit wrong. it's actually the other way around
(me, being humble yet fact-delivering)i don't know, that is what i've been told by a guy with a free subscription to match.com
(asian guy) actually it's the girl in many case I guess
-------------------
Compelling evidence, yet again. I can't argue with that. Now I'm a jerk. A big jerk. But I can't see myself with someone I'm not attracted to--especially if I can't stand talking to them. And I'm not talking about just a physical attraction, but an emotional and academic attraction too.
EXAMPLE: (Emotional attraction) when a guy tells you that he'd kill his parents if he had the chance, it sorta screams BLOCK HIM NOW!!!
EXAMPLE: (Academic attraction) The whole idiot-grammar thing really irritates the hell out of me. Not saying I'm perfect* I'm just saying I'm well-versed.
So maybe I'm picky, but I'm holding out for the full package. I have high standards now, thanks to my cousins. Homemakerman and even Mr. Jerk. Yep. That's right. You guys did me in. I cannot lower my expectations. I want a nice guy who can cook, clean, and spell. And so I continue to wonder who the first guy to break my heart will be.... I guess I keep thinking that if I study the game and learn the system it will help, but I sometimes wonder if I'm just prolonging the inevitable. Like everyone says, love is unpredictable.
Anyway, for now, tormenting these guys seems fun. One now, and for whatever reason, thinks I work for the FBI. I seriously don't know where this came from.
-----------------------------
Edit: Yeah, that was pretty bad; actually I was missing two or three whole sentences. I think it's polished now. HaHa!
