Monday, April 18, 2011

Why are parents so incredibly frustrating?

Could someone explain that to me?

Mom and I just had a fight over the dumbest thing, but she just gets to me sometimes, and I lose it. Like, tonight. She has a bean bag that needs a cover. One of her friends left it behind when she moved out of another friend's house, which is great, I've always wanted to buy a bean bag, now I get to save money. But out of the blue she tells me to buy a cover or she is throwing it out.

Uhm, hi, but my budget doesn't exactly work like that.

Not when I'm about to be paycheck-less because I work in a school and do not get paid throughout the summer. And, not for nothing, but we already had this conservation two days ago when she told me to buy it the first time, and I told her I would buy it when I went back to work.

"What's five bucks?" She says, like it is nothing. Five bucks is nothing when you have a job or some reliable form of income. In a few months I will have neither of those things, so excuse me for wanting to save the money that I do have for things that are a little more important than stupid bean bag chairs.

Now the sis is mad because we fought, and mom is being pissy with me because the sis is mad. Gotta love being home.

Saturday, April 9, 2011


I feel Bleh.

I can't explain it, I just feel Bleh. No motivation, no ambition, just bleh. I think I am feeling overwhelmed.

Got out today, went for Chinese. Met an old friend, and had a lot of fun talking. Met a new Scentsy customer, which was great. Now I'm just sitting here again feeling bleh. I want to write, but I can't force myself to get up and go do it. Instead I sit here... Thinking about planning. I should do planning, but I don't want to. I should also clean my room, or pick up the kitchen, but I don't want to do that either... Just want to sit. How depressing.

How bleh.

What's with me?

Last night I went to bed at 9. I feel like I should just go to bed now; why not? I'm not doing anything anyway. Then tomorrow I will wake up and do nothing again. I'll think about all the stuff I want to do, and I won't do it because I will be too busy feeling bad about all the things I SHOULD be doing.... but I won't do those either. I need to find a way out of this slump.

I hate feeling Bleh.