I want to smash my head off a desk. Really, I do.
You see, for 3 maybe 4 years now, I've been trying to track down an old friend of mine. Not the most traditional of friends--we met on the internet either before or right after Y2K. Where did we meet? I'm not sure. Perhaps the old X-Files forum. Maybe it was just through another friend. I honestly can't remember much, other than her screen name.
Normally, a screen name can tell you so much about a person. Sounds crazy, but it's true. That's usually how I check up on people--Yes, I'm a spy. I don't just willingly trust myself, or my personal information to just anyone. Before I befriend someone, or add them to Facebook, I do my own little background checks to make sure they aren't insane. See, most people use the same screen name wherever they go, so a quick google check will show you an amazing amount of information. Their hobbies, their photos, their everything. Take one of my screen names, for example-- When I google it, I find my photobucket account, numerous posts looking for support on technical websites, and even some things I forgot I had posted (oops).
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is people leave trails on the internet wherever they go--which is why I've adopted several usernames throughout the years. Julia, my dear lost friend, has none. I cannot find her. I've searched and I've searched forever. For years. She's gone.
Litchfieldduck8 and LibraDMK. All gone. It's driving me insane. I just want to find her. Julia S., from Michigan. Maybe she was from Anelldale, or Ann Arbor. In all my searches, those two towns stick out in my mind for some reason. That doesn't matter, though. She may have moved. She may have married. She could have died, for all I know. But the fact that I don't know is as annoying to me as a cracked fingernail when you don't have clippers or a file. I want to get to the bottom of it and know where she is, but I just don't have the tools. I can't remember enough about her to find her.
I've spammed facebook to the point where they have disabled my ability to send messages. I've googled till I've been blue in the face. I just can't find her--and why? Why do I want to find her? Out of sheer principal. I love my friends, and I never want "not" be able to contact them. I still have contact with everyone from my back-in-the-day "crew." Anya, Catherine, Racheal, Gabby, Kristina (sort of), even people I didn't know that well, I still have on my buddy list. But not Julia.
What inspired this insane obsession of mine? "Who let the Dog(get) In?" A short story she wrote for me years ago. I found it, randomly searching through old internet pages. I smiled for weeks after reading it--but almost cried when I couldn't find her online. The more I looked, the more memories began flooding back in my head. We were supposed to go to college together, back when I didn't have a plan, or any idea of what I wanted to do. I was supposed to go to Michigan, but it fizzled out.
As of today, I know her name; first and potentially last. I know where she once lived, and I may have her amazon account. One day, I swear, I will thank her for that story; She will laugh when she reads it, just like I did a few years ago. Just like I do every time I think of her.
I will find you, Julia Schnell(?) Unless you find me first.