As you all know, my dating life is pathetic. And I am apparently intolerable as far as internet dating goes. Though, in all fairness, I'm not entirely to blame for my lack of dates. For instance, take Soysauce guy. Really cute, really funny, real potential. Until I look him up on facebook. Status: in a relationship.
Hmm, just call me home wrecker. Or did I miss a memo? Is that the new thing these days? You can officially break up with your girlfriend once you've secured a new one? Or maybe he thought he was cool enough to keep us both in the dark. Uh, not in this day and age buddy.
Then there is Creep-o. I felt bad for him, up until he admitted to me that he hated his parents so much he'd kill them if he ever saw them again..... Yeah, conversation ender there!
Then there is the guy who drives me crazy. Every time I sign on, he starts talking to me, but he doesn't say much. In addition, he likes to argue. So if I told him, "I had yesterday off because it was a workshop day." He would sit and argue with me about it. Forgive me, but I think I know a thing or two about MY LIFE.
Then there was this last guy, who had a lot of potential. I really liked him, and was just waiting for him to ask me out. Never did. We were swapping horror stories about our lives and he tells me, "My girlfriend jumped off a building to get back at me. It was pretty messed up, so I have trust issues."
Well, I said "I wouldn't blame yourself because anyone who does that to themselves to hurt someone else is clearly unstable and needs help. " Apparently, something about that was wrong because he never wrote me back afterwards. I don't get it.
So that ship has sailed, and out of nowhere this other kid e-mails me. I will call him Cheese Puff. (Story to follow). I sort of like Cheese Puff. We have a lot in common. In fact, we have so much in common, I've asked him twice if he is plagiarizing my profile. Doesn't drink, sort of shy, on track with his life, wants to have kids before he's old. We both like the Red Sox. I say I like Orlando Cabrera, he likes Orlando Cabrera. I say I loved Kevin Millar, he loves him too. It's like I'm talking to a mirror. So creepy.
Everything I like, he likes too. It's like he is my twin. My opposite-sexed twin. Is this humanly possible? He's afraid he is too boring for me because he likes to hang around and play board games..... ..... (More ellipses for effect)... I AM BORING AND LIKE BOARD GAMES!! Except, it isn't boring when I'm hanging with the right people.
This guy would be almost extremely perfect, except for the fact that I feel like he is fake. The conversations are so real it is pretty awesome, but every now and then he says something that strikes me as fake. Like he keeps telling me I'm the coolest person he has talked to....it is almost like he is coaxing me up, and then today he writes:
"I'm guessing you would want to meet at a public place, so I was thinking maybe we could meet somewhere to eat and I'll get us some lunch or dinner. "
I am probably over reacting, but that sentence just stuck out. Like in a creepy way. Maybe he was just being nice, but maybe he is a serial killer. You never know. SOMEONE TALK SOME SENSE INTO ME!!!