My really bad mood.

Ironically, I am in another really bad mood.

I guess it is just stress, because this is my last week of vacation, and I am feeling slightly stressed about going back to work. I'm feeling disappointed that I will not have my own classroom for a third consecutive year since my graduation. I'm feeling stressed about the whole dating thing. The dad thing. Everything. I'm just feeling stressed about everything today.

I promise one day to come back and write happy notes about how great life is, but for the time being I apparently just like to bitch about stuff. So, here it is. My latest rant:

My sister's birthday present has arrived. A brand new laptop. Congratulations. I've worked my ass off so that I could buy myself 2 laptops, and here she is getting a second one.

Backstory. When I was 16 I got a laptop for my birthday. It wasn't the greatest laptop, but it was my very own, refurbished, laptop. It had its flaws, but I absolutely loved it. It was better than getting a cell phone--it was the best present ever.

When I started college, I worked at the computer department as a work study. Now, I was not the average work study, because I actually worked. The department head would always praise my hard work and dedication--and loved me because I would actually do work for them--and not just sit down and read books all day. Yay me! The hard worker!

I saved up enough money so that I could buy my own, brand new, laptop. It was the greatest computer ever, and I would still be using it today if it did not burn in a house fire. Yeah, my favorite laptop is melted into the ground.

Well, after the fire, my sister and I both got new laptops to replace our old ones. The one I got was not the greatest machine ever; it was actually a huge pain in the ass. So when it broke this year, I was quite excited because it meant I could buy myself a new one. And I did. Well, I actually wound up buying myself two new ones, because the first new one I bought was broken and had to be returned. This second one is working better, still has its quirks, but I am thinking I might keep it.

Well, I didn't have the money to buy this new laptop, but I put it on my credit card figuring I'd be back to work this month and would be able to pay it off shortly. That is all fine and dandy. I have a job, and I work for the nice things that I want in my life. Unlike my sister.

Not a week after I buy my new laptop, Mom starts talking about how she wants to buy a new one for my sister. Well, isn't that just dandy. I'm one part frustrated as hell, and one part jealous. Jealous because, um, I would have liked someone to buy me a new laptop, but I'm mostly frustrated because here we are in debt, and talking about perhaps selling our house because of said debt, and you want to go out and buy her a new fucking laptop? Thanks for that. Really.

Not for nothing, but you made this kid promise you she would get a summer job, and she didn't even try. She made ONE lame-ass attempt to get a job after the summer was already over. You bitched about how she didn't work all summer, and how she doesn't help out at all, and yet you want to go and buy her a laptop??

Is it just me, or does this seem like the most idiotic enabler's plan ever????

First off, she doesn't need a laptop. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to go through college without a laptop. Yes, it makes it easier, but there are other options. (IE, School library, or repairing broken laptop, which I've suggested can be done by actually bringing broken laptop to my friends to fix in exchange for food.) Use of other people's computers typically adds to the frustration of computerless college students, which then motivates said college students to get off their asses and get jobs to pay for new laptops.

I'm sorry, but when I needed a new laptop for school, I paid for it myself. We didn't have the money to go buy me a new laptop when I needed it, and here we are--in worse of a financial situation--actually talking about perhaps selling our house--and Mom goes out and buys her a new laptop??

I mean, that makes sense to me. I told her again and again, but she doesn't care. And she didn't care. She kept asking me, "Which one do you like better?" and I would kindly plead the 5th.

Seriously? Mom wants her to grow up and wonders why she is so lazy, yet everything my sister needs is handed to her on a silver platter. And they wonder why I'm in a bad mood. Maybe because no one listens to me?

What really set me off today, though? This completely insane happy bitch on the coworkers page. I won't speak much about it, because I don't want this to be traced back to my own identity, but outside of work I am a consultant for a certain company. And there is this one consultant who thinks her shit doesn't stink if you know what I mean. If I ever wanted to smack someone upside the face, it is this woman. The frigging Richard Simmons of the company if you know what I mean. Always posting her inspirational, "You can do it; my life is awesome yours can be too" shit that makes me want to reach through the computer and strangle her.

First off, she is always the first to reply to messages posted on our coworkers page--unless I post them. For some unknown reason, my messages often go unanswered or ignored. Which is frustrating. Whenever someone posts something positive, she comments. Whenever I post something positive, its ignored. Whenever I say "I'm frustrated with this... any advice" she tells me not to be so negative--like she doesn't have a emotional bone in her frigging body.

Is she so detatched from reality that she doesn't get frustrated by people? Oh wait, she's plastered her face all over the internet like some freak, so she has 30+ recruits she is profiting from. If I had that many, I'd be happy too, but I wouldn't rub it in to other people's faces, because guess what? People aren't all vain like you, and people aren't all as lucky as you.

She apparently thinks she is SO GREAT she is now posting her own personal videos in our coworkers page. So she's too good to write messages to us now?? You have to get your face all plastered into our personal group? NEWSFLASH! NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR FACE! Who cares!

God I am in a bad mood.