Weirdo

So out of pure boredom and interest, I logged onto my dating page. To my surprise (and that's pure sarcasm there, so you know) I had no new messages. Yes, I have successfully scared away 10/10 potential interests with my blunt sarcasm and knack for pointing out the obvious. Why men have such delicate egos, I'll never know, but like I tell my mother: if I can't have a conversation with them online, why would I want to meet them??

Take this winner, for example. I dubbed him "Weirdo."


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From: Weirdo
Subject: I'm one of your favorites?

?
[Reply]
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No joke; that was his message to me.

Minus the subject line, his entire message was simply a question mark.

Well, so you know the background, I had spent about 10 minutes browsing through the new users (you know, the ones I hadn't scared away yet...) When I find a guy that I 'really' like, I'll shoot him a quick message, but when I find a guy that sounds interesting enough (and looks just about "kissable") I will add him to my "favorites." That, in my opinion is the equivalent to smiling at someone in public. It says, "I'm sort of interested, but not enough to send you a message" and if they like you back, they can initiate the conversation. If not, I could care less because I don't quite like you that much to begin with.

Unfortunately, it has become apparent that adding men to a favorites list goes straight to their heads. This isn't the first time that simple click has had this effect on men. It is, however, the funniest.

Anyway, my reply was as simple as his mind: "Please note "Note #4""

Note #4 on my profile basically states: "Just because I added you to my favorites doesn't mean you are God's gift to women and that I'm madly in love with you."

His response?

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"I already did note #4. I read your profile. But you didn't answer my question. If you don't want to talk to me, why are you adding me to your favorites?"

(Barely 3 minutes later)

Weirdo.
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So here is the message I sent him. Is it sad that I enjoy this?


Yes, I am such a weirdo for going to bed after the busy day I had--especially when I was feeling sick all day to begin with. Shame on me.

I am also so very sorry for having offended you by not answering your question--what was that again? Hmm, let me backtrack through your messages to make sure I didn't miss this "question" of yours.

"I'm one of your favorites?"

Oh, right. The subject line. Followed by a question mark. What a great conversation starter! How, ever, could I have ignored that lame attempt for an ego boost. I think that “question” probably went ignored because I thought it was a rhetorical question (given, of course, the obvious fact that I had already added you to my favorites list. Wouldn't an answer have been redundant?)

Silly, Silly me. Not realizing you were being serious. Here is my long awaited reply, if you are still interested…

"Yes, whatever your name is. I 'thought' you were a potentially interesting person. So, the sky is blue?"

Very sorry for misleading your ego; but I do thank you for proving just what a completely impatient and unstable individual you are. I love how my lack of response made you jump to call me names and assume I'm a “weirdo.”

Good luck in your quest of finding a woman who will jump to answer your dumb-ass questions. Oh yeah, and enjoy being blocked.

Insanely yours,
Weirdo.