Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Apparently I'm a bitch.

I'm sort of confused.

Imagine a big, fancy vase on the edge of the table. This isn't just any vase. It is one-of-a-kind, and priceless. You jump, and see it wobble. You continue to jump, regardless of the fact you KNOW something bad could happen and the vase falls and shatters to pieces.

Mom walks in, and _______________________.

Can you fill in the blank?

Apparently, I'm a bitch. My blank does not include, "going easy on the kid who makes a stupid choice." My blank includes accountability, and responsibility. The "kid" should have known better and taken steps to insure the vase would not get broken.

I should probably fill in a little more details. The "kid" is not really a kid, but a 50+ year old man with a drinking problem. The vase is more or less his relationship with his children, and the thought of jumping is actually the act of really pissing me off. More specifically, having a major pissing contest with yours truly, the designated driver. So now the question is, what do I do?

I talked to a cousin last night who basically told me I was being too hard on him. I suppose I'm slightly offended. If the kid knows there is a chance jumping will break the vase, and still the kid continues to jump, are we really supposed to look the other way and make excuses for this kid? Or do we hold him accountable? What is the lesson learned from looking the other way? Am I supposed to just let things slide? Until every vase I own is smashed to pieces? Is it my job to be more careful with my glassware? When this kid refuses to stop jumping, do I just ban him from my house?

I guess I haven't thought much about it until now. Not sure why it's stuck in my head now. I guess I've just been too busy with life to figure it out. That and the fact I had a nice, hour-long conversation with one of my aunts about just how much my family sucks. It's stirred up a lot of thoughts I'd rather suppress.

I actually started thinking ahead. I can't have a phone conversation with him. Tried and he just pissed me off. Started blaming everyone else for the choices he made. That is a peeve of mine. Thought to the best advice I've had so far, and that is simply to avoid him when he is drinking. Then I started to wonder, when exactly will that be? First thing in the morning? I don't wake up early. In fact, I don't feel like doing much of anything until late afternoon. Maybe we could have lunch, but I can't see that happening. He would just have another macho pissing contest. I would say, "I won't go out with you if you drink," and he might agree, but what if he decides he has the "right to drink" as he has told me time and time again it is his life and he can do what he wants with it? Then what? I never go to lunch with him again?

I tried picturing what talking to him would be like, this summer. We're together in the kitchen, and I can't even think of what to say to him. I just don't know what to do. I just want to stop thinking about it.

You make a stupid choice, and

1 comment:

  1. You do what you need to do to protect yourself, live with yourself, and live a happy life. Don't let anyone make you feel judged, they are not in your shoes.

    You're an adult. Have been for a while now. Your relationships with people are your own business.

    Love you, kid.