Thursday, September 17, 2009

Birthday Bash

So it's mom's birthday, and I'm always good with pulling one over on her. What do I mean? Well, when I buy a gift, especially for mom, I like to see that, "What on earth am I going to do with this?" face. When I bought her a Nintendo DS, I wrapped it up in a Glad trash bag box. When I bought her a cross just last August, I taped it to the back of a card. I like to be sneaky. I like to surprise. And I love to play pranks.

Well, This year I bought her a gold necklace (or at least I'm hoping it's a gold necklace--you never know with those fancy art stores. I first found it on a Wednesday. I know it was a Wednesday, because I've been seeing my Osteopath, in Ridgeville, every other week. Actually, now I'm not so sure it was a Wednesday. But I'm pretty sure it was a Wednesday.

Anyway, we'll pretend that I remember the day. It was, yes, a Wednesday, and I believe it was my first day of work (which was actually my third day of work, because of meetings, and me being an idiot and showing up on the wrong Monday, in the wrong place, etc) So, yeah, after that day of work, on Wednesday, I went to my appointment in Ridegville.

Mom and Elsa also had appointments in Ridgeville, so they convinced me to go meet them just as soon as I got out of work--and them being them, didn't tell me where they were, or answer their cell phones. So I gave up, and noticed a little artsy store next to my doctor's office. Me being me, decided to go in and investigate, and I found tons and tons of things I liked. There was a Siamese cat painted on a rock (which I immediately took a picture of on my camera phone and texted to my sister, and instructed to come over--but was ignored by). There were tons of afghans, and knitted hats, scarves, etc. They were gorgeous. There was jewelry. There were paintings. There was photography (and I'm doubting my grammar on those last 4 sentences, 'cus it sounds funny, but oh well). Needless to say, I was amused, but BROKE.

The one thing that caught my eye, though, was this one necklace. It was a decent sized gold heart, with two pink gold roses. There was also a set of matching earrings, which weren't as attractive, but still looked nice with the set. The set cost $119, and was supposedly real 14K gold. Not so great, but it was so pretty. I liked it, and I thought my mom would like it, so I said I would buy it for her when I got the chance.
[End flashback]

Presumably 3 or 4 weeks later, when I had gotten my first paycheck, I knew I needed to get my mother a birthday present. I had totally forgotten the necklace, and the art store, and it had honestly slipped my mind that her birthday was so soon. I knew it was comming, but I didn't realize how fast. I felt awful, and trapped, because I had had a few chances to "sneak off" unnoticed and find the perfect gift. I blew them all. (mostly the mall trip)

WELL! There I was, in Ridgeville for my next Osteopath appointment. I knew I had to get a gift (and I'm now sure this was Tuesday the 8th). I was thinking Brenny's or that little Horn shop before it, but I really didn't want to buy some knicknack gift for my mother's 49th birthday. I parked behind the Osteopath's office and as I walked by, it hit me! The Art Store!!!!!

I went in, and mindlessly gazed at the crowded shelves until that heart necklace called to me. "Hey, Damn it!" It said, "Remember me??" And I did. I remembered it as if a holy light shone down on it. Angels sang majestically around me. And while none of that actually did happen, I knew that necklace before I'd even made it 3 feet to it's locaion.

To quote the cutest 2 year old ever, an AH-HAAH!! screamed in my brain, and I walked over to the necklace.

"This is real gold, right?" I asked the woman, who may or may not have had a British accent.

"It should be." She said, obviously unclear of what she was selling. I didn't care though, it was so beautiful and fated. It was honestly my destiny. I looked it over, debating on whether or not to make such an extravagant purchase without my sister's approval (we usually split the price of gifts, especially ones that large.)

"Twenty percent off Jewelry sale ends today," She tempted, and I hesitated until my guy said, "Knicknacks or necklace? Seriously, what else are you going to find, this nice, down here in Ridgeville?"

NOTHING! DUH! I said to myself, whipping out my ATM card and approaching the woman. "What the heck!"

I bought the necklace and texted my sister. Then I went to Brenny's and bought a small day planner, gift bag, and some tissue paper. Yellow and white. It was gorgeous, and the bag was a matching yellow with a "Happy Birthday cake," with glitter candles.

Since I know my mother can be snoopy, I decided against hiding the tissue paper wrappers (I've made that mistake in the past and busted myself). I intentionally placed the plastic in the downstairs barrel, and when my mom questioned what it was for, I pretended to sound guilty, and said, "Oh, gift for my friend..." Very shady, I know.

My intention was to hide the pretty jewelry in the planner, so when she opened it and saw it's red binding, she'd say, "What the heck?? Am I disorganized??" However, not to ruin the surprise, I hid the jewelry under my dresser until yesterday. I did, though, leave that bag in plain view, sneakily in my closet. Not sure if she snooped or not...

Well, the party planning was a horrible disaster, but I'll get to that in a later post! This is just about yesterday (minus the 3 paragraph flashback). I got home, and mom had already eaten. Bummer, because we'd been planning a lobster party for a few weeks. I gave her a Boston cream donut with a candle (and balloon tied to it), said happy birthday, and told her not to eat or go anywhere. Then I ran to my doctor's appointment. Then I came home again. What fun!

For an hour we hung out, because Blitzen? wasn't going to be home from Hindham until 5PM. I tried to be real sketchy in the meantime. Mom was assuming people were coming to the house, so she cleaned all day. When I returned from the doctor's appointment, I opened my TENS unit and made a mess on the table. "What are you doing?? You're making a mess? what time are they getting here??"

"Who??" I'd laugh. "I'm not having any people over! You are crazy!"

Several times she asked, and asked why she couldn't go anywhere or eat. Well, the eating was due to the lobster party, but the not going out was because Elsa had sent flowers. So.... Yeah, that sort of cramped my style, but whatever. The flowers arrived, and Mom instantly thanked me. I laughed and said, "I didn't send them."

We skyped Elsa later to thank her and show off the flowers. Then, while skyping, I pretended I had a wonderful gift I needed EVERYONE to see. I asked where we should go to show it off, then typed: TELL ME TO GO TO RUDY'S. Eventually, she replied the way I wanted her to, and I said, "Oh yeah, that's a good idea."

Rudy called me and said he was 15 minutes away. I called Sharon to see what she was doing. Then I told mom not to go upstairs (for no apparent reason, really, it was just funny). I went up to get her meds, then got the brilliant idea to blindfold her. It was hilarious. We couldn't stop laughing.

"Why? I know we're going to Rudy's" She said, but I just laughed. "No you don't!"

When we were all in the car, I knew I had to make it good. So instead of taking a right at the top of the hill, I went straight. I took her over the bridge and down one of the side roads--turning around in some random parking lot. The guy thought I was crazy, and lost, but I knew where I was going.

After that, I drove down my dad's road, and up another, and finally wound up Charlene's neighbor's driveway.Then I led her across the yard and past Charlene's house, did a few circles on the street, and eventually wound up leading her to the house, accidentally tripping her on a rock. Oops.

She was mad but laughing, and I was laughing too. Blitzen looked out the window and asked why my mom was blindfolded. There was no reason, I just wanted to have some fun. We went in and ate our lobsters, opened presents, and ate a blizzard ice cream cake topped with Peanut Butter cups. Mom supposedly loved all her gifts, but I'm still not convinced she liked my necklace. why am I always so.... skeptical?

Maybe it's because she thought the peanut butter cups were heath bars and said, "Oh, you got my favorite! Heath Bar, OO0o00!" I don't know when that changed, but what a blow to my planning. I wanted to get Oreo, but I got peanut butter because I knew it was her favorite.

Oh well.

This took all day to write, and I'm sure it's inconsistent. Oh well.

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