Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dragging Today

I'm dragging today, and I hate it. I feel like gravity is sucking me down to the center of the earth, and crushing my every ambition. I just iced myself down with "ActinOn" some sort of muscle-pain-reliever.

Not sure what's going on with me. Maybe it's the cold. Maybe it's the "going out to dinner" last night that killed me. Maybe it's the medicine. Whatever it is, I hate it. I just want to go home and take a muscle relaxant and sleep... For a month.

Yesterday was rough, and I will admit I was a little bit bitchy with my family. But, after having a deep conversation with my student about "stupid things people do" I had very little sympathy to share. I got out of work around 2, and home around 3 after running a bunch of errands. Picking up my inhaler, mailing some letters, and picking up the mail. Nothing too big, right?

Well, when I got home, I was hungry, and tired. And all I wanted to do was go lay down, but after my mother sent me a text saying she was up in town with a friend, I figured that was her way of telling me "Go spend some time with your dad" P.S. I found out Sunday night that my dad was on vacation for the week. Honestly, hadn't the clue he was even up this weekend.

I guess it's my fault, for not calling. I rarely call him, but it's complicated.

Well, he'd asked me Monday night if I wanted to go for Chinese food with him and some other relatives; I said, "Sure, I'll meet you when I get out of work." And he said, "Eh, we'll probably go at 5PM."

That sucks. I don't want to spend all night at a Chinese Restaurant with them. And, physically, I can't afford that--especially when I have to wake up early and go to work all day. So I told him this and we both agreed on "Maybes."

So, I figured I could stop by and hang out with them for a bit; Dad and Uncle were trying to fix a piece of machinery.. water cleaner.. hose... spray? something to stain the deck. My dad broke it I guess, and they were standing around trying to fix it. Aunt and the Mrs. were standing around, while the Yorkie barked at the machine.

The first thing I say, getting out of the car, when asked how I am? "I'm hungry, tired, and I have to the restroom facilities." It was the truth, but no one seemed interested in my problems.

I use the bathroom, grab a half a donut from the kitchen, and avoid the temptation of chips and junk food. I go outside to watch the guys stand over the machine, pull this, twist that, talk about this, wonder about that. I'm bored. I've got Aunt and the Mrs. telling me they are hungry too, and they can't wait to leave for Chinese. So I say, "Why don't you guys fix that tomorrow? When I'm in work.. Let's go eat"


Conversation turns to the Brewfest. Great. Beer, beer, and more beer. They tell me I should go, and that I might meet a cute boy. I tell them I'll probably meet a cute, drunk, boy who is way too immature for me. I know it's not the truth, but do I really want to be designated driver for my family? No... Not really. I've got better things to do with my time.

"What if your friends get a ticket for drunk driving? You don't want your dad to get a ticket, do you?" They guilt me. I'm in no mood for that shit. "It's not my choice, it's his." I say feeling pretty bold. I'm getting better at this whole, "leave me alone" thing I think. Nothing more was said.

I'm hungry, and I'm tired, and I'm sitting there watching them fight this hopeless battle of fixing a machine. I go in the house and get the other half of the donut, and return saying "Ok, you're down a donut." I eventually add that if we don't get movin' in a half hour, I'm out. No one seems to care. Maybe it's because I was bitchy, but I don't care. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I want to go lay down.

Half hour goes by, and I go to leave. "You're leaving?" My dad asks shocked. Uhm, well, yeah, duh. Didn't I just say that? This is boring, why don't you people get that? I don't care, I just want to go home. "As fun as all this is," I waved my hands around, "I have things to do" I said because it sounded good.

Wow I feel like such a bitch, but what else am I going to do. Sit there being bored, hungry, and in pain when I could be home, relaxing, comfortable? Not to mention I'm sick, not that I needed another excuse to get out of there, but really.

I guess I have a lot to vent about, and even though I feel like an ass I'm glad I said what I said, because that ended the guilting and the drunk talk.

So what does that have to do with today? I don't know, I guess I just felt like ranting. Chinese was good; pretty average, really. and I was very talkative. Unusual for me, but I guess I was just trying to keep myself entertained. Maybe it was the cough syrup..

Highlight of my night? Probably seeing the dogs. I do like spending time with my dad (when he's not talking in circles or slurring words; don't know, maybe you have to be buzzed to enjoy that sort of stuff?) so that was pretty good. But I always like dogs more than people, because dogs can't piss me off. We stopped by some breeder place and she had puppy German Shepherds and the cutest Chihuahua--never seen a long haired one, but I want one!

Came home and saw my raccoon friend. Everyone is freaked out about him, but I love him. Not a huggy, my new pet kind of love, but a "Wow I'm this freaking close to a wild animal" kind of love. It's amazing. I fed him some Chinese noodle things and he loved them; came right up to the door and tried coming into the house.

I'm pretty sure he is friendly, but I don't want to chance that he isn't. I'm also pretty sure we've known him since last summer, when he was a baby... I wonder if he's the same, and if he remembers me? Weird thought. Science class is over. Time to pack up and hit the road

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